I'm a control freak

“Control, control. You must learn control.”

Yoda - The Empire Strikes Back

I grew up with Star Wars and I must have taken on Yoda’s teachings too literally. I have been feeling I have no control over work —> 1) frequency of going into the office, 2) getting assigned (uninteresting, clerical) tasks, and 3) toxic workplace interactions.

Not to mention control over my personal life and even my own body.

When all of these things I can’t control converge at the same time, you get the emotional equivalent of a bumbling-emotional-exploding Death Star. I can’t help but think about Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles for prioritizing their mental health. I am awe inspired that they are teaching me to listen to my mental health first and not listen to the nay-sayers who would think me weak. I’m obviously not on the same pedestal or scrutinized to the same lengths as these famous athletes but they are definitely schoolin’ me and the world.

So maybe I can’t control everything but I can control using sick time for my mental health. This is a privilege. Far too many have no choice or control over the usage of their sick time or paid time off because they don’t have much or the repercussions would be too severe.

My hope would be that people become more open about needing a mental health day (or two or three), there to be no retaliation of responsible use of mental health days, and for mental health days to be plentiful for everyone.